“Oh, why can't it be? Why can't it be the two of us? Why can't we be lover's only friends?” I can never forget this statement coming from a friend of mine who was madly in love his friend but was rejected because the guy is in love with someone else. Typical movie material, huh?
It really hurts when you love somebody and you can never experience romantic love in return. The worst would be being with someone for quite sometime and then the right one comes along. Oh what to do? Of course, human as we are, we tend to think of the many common and usual excuses to break up with someone. Mostly, the typical ones often end up having the both of you not being friends anymore. So how should we break up with someone and end up being friends? Or at least be civil with one another.
Okay, I may not be a love guru but I have some friends who are experts on the subject matter and here is what they say. To break up with someone and still be friends, you have to consider the following. First, question yourself why do you still want to be friends? It is vital to ponder and weigh the pros and cons if the friendship will still be working. Make sure to have the right reasons not just because you feel guilty about breaking up with him/her and you want to feel less guilty or you're still hung up with him/her. If you happen to bump into them after the break up, just simply say hello and ask about something that would make a casual conversation. Just stick to neutral easy topics. Next, think about how and why you want to break up. And then when that day comes of telling that someone that you're calling it quits, ponder in why and how you ended the relationship. Sometimes time will eventually take its course and eventually the two of you will end up being friends again. Be honest and direct with your feelings. At the same time make sure he/she is too. Always be upfront about your feelings from the start. Don't ever hide them until it's going to explode like a massive volcanic eruption. Be calm and relax. Don't tense up and freak out for heavens sake! Just take deep breathes during the conversation and don't be nervous.
Also, when the time comes that you are already in separate ways and you happen to see him/her with someone else, don't be anxious and panicky. If you are truly friends, you both should be happy for each other that you both are moving on and have found someone else to make you happy. Just treat them like a normal friend and think of them in a different. Past feelings may resurface you know! You don't want to open Pandora's Box again now, don't you? You don't have to talk to them all the time and surely you are not obliged to do so. And if they try to hurt you, DON'T MIND IT!
There's no point of trying to be friends with somebody who is just making you feel bad and pitiful. Take note that you can always do better and that you can surely move on. Lastly, you don't have to friends with him/her if it really doesn't work.
Sometimes, it is best not to remain friends, which is oh-so fine and appropriate. Don't force yourself and don't rub it in. Remember, you are always in control and you can always find someone better that is worth your time and love.
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