You just about jumped for joy, didn't you? Why wouldn't you considering what just happened? Your ex boyfriend, the one you're still madly in love with, just sent you a text message. Maybe it was nothing more than a quick hello or perhaps he wants to know how you are. Regardless, you see it as the first step towards the inevitable reunion between you two. Before you respond by telling him how happy you are to hear from him and how much you miss him, stop and take a deep breath. As much as you want to believe this random text message from your ex means he can't live without you, that may not be the case at all. His text message may be nothing more than a calculated method of seeing where you are emotionally at the moment. You have to take a deep breath and think through your response so you don't end up with a broken heart all over again.
Wait at Least an Hour to Respond
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As much as you want to respond to your ex boyfriend's unexpected text message immediately, don't. It's very likely that he's going to gauge the level of your interest in him by how quickly you answer his text message. In other words, if you send a reply right away, you're going to seem desperate and pathetic. This is one occasion when you'd do well to wait to text him back. It's preferable that you wait at least an hour but depending on the time of day it may even be worthwhile for you to wait several hours.
For instance, if your ex boyfriend is feeling lonely late at night and sends you a text saying he misses you at midnight, don't respond until the morning. The same is true if he texts you in the middle of the day when you should be focused on work or class. Don't jump back into the habit of pushing everything aside to answer his message. Take a breath, give it some time and then pick up your phone to respond.
Be Cautious in Your Response
Obviously, you'd like nothing more than to tell your ex boyfriend that you miss him too and want a happy future with him. The problem is that if you respond to his text message in any manner that can be contrived as overzealous, you may actually scare him off. This seems ludicrous given the fact that he was the one who initiated contact with you again but he may just be testing the waters to see how interested in him you still are.
When you do respond treat him as you would any friend that you haven't spoken to in some time. That means that you need to keep your emotional guard up and keep the tone of your text message exchange light and carefree.
Don't start asking him if he's ready to get back together or if you can see him. You don't want him to feel as though he opened up a floodgate of difficult emotions when he sent that initial text message to you. Instead, keep the banter light and generic and try to be the one who ends the text conversation first.
Don't Correspond Endlessly with Him via Text Message
If your ex boyfriend is feeling particularly lonely right now, he may see you as a light in the darkness. To him you may simply be someone to fill in the empty void he's experiencing until another woman presents herself to him. You must be mindful of not falling into this trap with your ex.
It's very important that you don't keep texting him as the only source of communication if you're hoping for more from the relationship. After you two have exchanged text messages for several days ask him to meet you for a coffee or lunch. An invitation like this isn't threatening and it's suggestive of a meeting between friends.
If he says he's too busy or has some other excuse, without offering you an alternate date to meeting, slow down the text messages. He's not looking for anything more than someone to help fill in his time and you don't want to become just that to someone you truly love and adore.