Are you asking yourself do I really want to get my ex back? Sometimes that's the best place to begin. Before you start making plans to get your ex back it's wise to figure out whether you want to and why you want to.
Getting back together with an ex may seem like the right thing to do when your heart is breaking. If you allow a little time to pass though you can make the decision with a greater deal of objectivity.
What questions should you ask though to help you make the right decision?
- Was I happy in the relationship? Most relationships go through many ups and downs. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship no matter how much you love one another. If you weren't happy with the relationship most of the time though it's worth considering letting it go and moving on. No matter how much it hurts in the beginning to do so.
- Was there abuse in the relationship? Whether you were the one dishing out the abuse or the victim of the abuse if there was abuse in the relationship it is time to not only move on but also to get help dealing with that (also from either side of the coin).
- What changes would I need to make to get my ex back and am I willing to make them. Obviously something was wrong in the relationship or you wouldn't have broken up to begin with. What can be done differently to prevent another breakup in the future and are you willing to be the one to make the changes?
- Are you willing to accept your ex as is or are you going to expect changes there as well? Relationships are a series of compromises. You'll have to sacrifice some of your ideals in order to make things work. Should you be the only one to make changes? In a perfect world, no. But, if you aren't going to be able to live with your ex without changes on his or her part it's a good idea to talk those over before you even consider getting back together or you consider facing life without your ex in it.