Suffering through a break up can leave a woman feeling very confused and distracted. It's often hard to focus on the simplest tasks. When you adore your ex boyfriend still you obsess over what went wrong and what you can do to get him to want you back. When the holidays roll around, there's one question that may be burning a hole in your mind. You aren't sure whether you should get your ex boyfriend a gift or should you skip it. On the surface it seems like a great idea to pick out something small and significant that shows him you still care deeply for him. However, you may not realize that your ex could absorb a gift the wrong way and it could actually damage your chance of getting him to want to give the relationship another try.
Be Honest With Yourself About Where the Relationship Is
When a woman starts throwing gifts in the direction of her ex boyfriend and the two of them aren't even on speaking terms, it makes her look pathetic and desperate. Unless you and your ex boyfriend are already working on patching up your differences, it's not wise to give him anything for Christmas at all. It doesn't matter if you believe you've found the ideal gift. Buy it if the need feels overwhelming and save it for when you two are finally back together.
Too often a woman who is desperate to get her man back will have a package sent to him. The likelihood of him sending it back is very high. If he does keep it, he may never acknowledge it because he isn't ready to mend the connection yet.
If you feel compelled to acknowledge the holidays in some form, a simple text message or email wishing him a happy and healthy new year is more than adequate.
Recognize That You Can't Pull Him Back With Gifts
Women and men are swept off their feet by very different things. For us, after a break up, if we receive a large bouquet of our favorite flowers or a piece of jewellery, we're going to take that as a sign that our ex boyfriend is saying sorry for what happened in the past. We see the gifts as a peace offering and from there it's just a matter of time before the differences are worked out.
For men, it's a much different process. Men see space and distance as gifts. Men tend to take much longer to deal with their feelings post break up. They can take weeks or in some cases even months to realize that they actually want to get back together.
That's the very reason why you should extend silence as a gift to your ex. Instead of trying to buy back his affection with season's tickets to his favorite team's home games or a new watch, leave him be. By showing that you're mature enough to walk away and give him time to think about the break up and what he wants for his future, you are essentially giving him the greatest and most compassionate gift possible.
Accept Any Gift He May Offer with Gratitude
Your ex boyfriend may be struggling with the same emotional dilemma you are regarding whether a Christmas gift is a good idea. You may be surprised to learn that he's been plotting a plan to get you back by purchasing something he believes will make you forget about the past.
If this does happen, you have to temper your reaction to his gift. Don't allow the gesture to cloud your better judgement. If he did something that hurt you deeply, be forewarned that you two are going to need to discuss that before you can truly be happy moving forward together.
It is important that you are cordial and grateful when he does offer you a gift. Accept it with a smile on your face.
Talk About Gifts If You Two are Currently Friends
For many exes, the journey back to being a couple begins with building a strong, trusting and loving friendship. If this is where you two are at the moment it's wise for you to talk openly with your ex about whether he would like to exchange small gifts at Christmas.
The reason why you want to bring this up is that you don't want to purchase something for him, when he is under the impression you two aren't exchanging gifts. This scenario may make him feel embarrassed. You may also absorb it as his not caring enough about you to take the time to find a small gift to give you.
Avoiding any misunderstandings as you are working on rebuilding your relationship is paramount. Bring up the idea of a gift exchange during a calm moment. You'll be able to gauge his reaction and then you two can move forward on the same wavelength and there won't be any hurt feelings come Christmas Day.