You wish you could step back in time and undo the moment when you saw the woman you love with a new man, right? It's understandable. It's incredibly difficult to have to face, with your own eyes, the fact that your ex girlfriend has moved on from your break up and hooked up with another guy. You want her to come to her senses and realize that you're the only man for her. The problem is that, for the moment at least, her new guy likely fills her heart and needs quite nicely. You've got two choices in this scenario. You can panic, throw your heart into the mix and tell her that she's making a big mistake or you can take the more mature approach. Panicking isn't going to help you get her to choose him over you. In fact, it's almost a guaranteed way to push her closer to him and out of your life for good.
Be Cordial When Meeting Her New Guy
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Running from the inevitable isn't going to make this any easier. Eventually, if you want to maintain some sort of friendship with your ex girlfriend, you have to accept her new guy. That is likely going to mean meeting him, be it at a function held by a mutual friend or because she requests it. If you don't oblige, you may end up with an emotional wedge between the two of you that will be impossible to overcome.
Agree to meet her new boyfriend and be as cordial as you possibly can. Ask all the general questions about what he does for a living and how the two of them met. Don't come across as the protective ex boyfriend and it's essential that you don't appear to be seething with jealousy. You just want him to see you as a friend and you want your ex girlfriend to view you as someone who is mature and can accept that life changes.
Establish Yourself as a Good Friend to Her
Because most rebound relationships fall apart in no time flat, you want to ensure that you're always a vitally important part of your ex girlfriend's life. If you tell her that you want to remain friends, it's very likely that she'll embrace that. Women love being close to their ex boyfriends. To them it's completely natural and not awkward at all. It may be emotionally challenging for you to take on this role but you should view it as strictly a means to an end. If you can be close to her in this way, that will help you later on when you're working to reconnect on a more romantic level.
In order to show her that you can and want to be a good friend you have to be supportive of her new relationship. Don't ignore the subject of her new boyfriend. Instead, ask about him from time-to-time. You shouldn't be delving into their most private moments. Just make a point of asking how his work is going or whether the two of them have seen the latest blockbuster and if they have, what his opinion of it was.
These types of small gestures help to establish a deep level of respect between you and your ex girlfriend. She'll value your new found friendship more because you respect her connection with her new boyfriend.
Show Her That You're Moving Forward Too
Once your ex girlfriend realizes that you're moving forward with your life too, don't be surprised if she's the one panicking. Even though she may be firmly entrenched in her new relationship, the idea of you finding someone new may be too much for her to bear.
You can sneakily show her that you're ready to move on by hinting at the suggestion of it as opposed to actually doing it. Ask her opinion on a dating site. Tell her that you're thinking of joining and you wonder what she thinks of it. It's also a great idea to ask her if she knows of anyone who had success meeting their soul mate on an online dating site.
If you aren't comfortable taking that route than subtly suggest that you're going on a date by telling her that you've got plans on a certain night of the week. Don't offer up this information. Wait for her to ask if you have anything going on than simply mention that you do have something fun planned later in the week and you're a bit nervous about it. If she asks what it is (and her curiosity will force her to) just shyly say you don't want to jinx it by talking about it. That alone will get her mind churning and she'll start to wonder whether or not she wants you falling for someone new. Her new boyfriend may become secondary to the idea of your potential new girlfriend in her mind.