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Counselling Relationship

After undergoing a falling out from the person you love, you are heartbroken, distraught and desperate. What is the first thing that goes to your head? In some cases you will think: good riddance and it was the best thing to do. However, love doesn't work that way. Love is passion. Love is crazy. You think to yourself, “How do I get my ex back?”

First things first, why did you two break it off? Did your relationship get played out? Was there something about you that she not stands or vice versa? Or did infidelity work its way into your relationship?


Say it was the first one, and then all you have to do is show your ex that you can give more than routine and a body to sleep with and that hurt of your breakup has shown you how passionate about the relationship you are. Calls her up and tell her you miss her. Surprise her with flowers and surprise her with dates or other sentiments. However, you can't just pay for love. You have to dig deep, deep like someone experiencing love for the first time. What is her favorite flower? Don't just get her a dozen roses and call it a day. It has to be personal. Say you met during a Yankee game, buy some tickets, leave hers in her mailbox or anywhere she will be sure to get it, and pick her up holding two dozen of her favorite flowers and you act like you did on your first date. If your relationship ended because it got boring then you have just proven that you are willing to fresh things up.

If there was something about you she couldn't stand like messiness, lateness, or laziness. Then you show her you can change. It is true that you should never change yourself for someone, but if these changes harbor personal growth and wellness then it is a change needed. If there is something about her that drove you crazy, then that is where real communication is needed. You need to be mature and ask her to talk. Tactfully and honestly tell her that you want her back, but there are some things that you would like to be different. If she refuses, you can flip the table over, get on your knees, and beg for her back or you can keep your dignity and walk away knowing it ended on your terms.

If infidelity was the cause, then let it stay as the end. You may think you can forgive or if you were the cause that you made a mistake and is sorry, but there will always be a mistrust in that relationship. If someone cheated there was something wrong and the relationship was already in its end stages. In that case, replace getting your ex back by buying a pint of Ben & Jerry's and having a good cry.

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