Be honest. How often do you think about your ex boyfriend? Daily? Hourly? Is he always on your mind? It's difficult to focus on anything but the break up and the man you lost, isn't it? I'll bet you have friends who have been telling you gently, and not-so-gently, to forget about him and move on. That's easy for them to say. They just don't get how much you love and need him. You're not ready to put him in your past because you're certain he's an integral part of your future. You want to know how to pull him back into your arms. You've probably already tried several things to make that happen but to date, nothing has worked. You're in luck. There are three very simple and straightforward things you can do, starting now, that will greatly increase your chances of getting him to love you again.
Apologize to Him and Put the Break Up Behind You
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If you were dumped by the love of your life, the idea of apologizing to him is going to seem incredibly foreign. Why should you say you're sorry for anything? You need to for a couple of very specific reasons. First, and foremost, if everything was completely perfect within your relationship he wouldn't have even considered dumping you. If there were things he complained about back then, those are the actions or behaviors that you must make amends for now. You shouldn't plan any sort of elaborate apology speech. There are only two words required. “I'm sorry.”
Once you've done that, you will hopefully hear the same thing from him. If you don't, don't allow it to deter you. Your next step is to let go of all of the heavy emotions that are weighing you down from the break up. Don't continue to replay the actual moments of the break up over and over again. If you two shared correspondence related to the break up, delete those emails and text messages now. The break up must become part of your emotional past. You have to let yourself move past it and lay it to rest. If you can do that, you'll immediately have a different attitude and tone when communicating with your ex boyfriend and that will help you immensely.
Forge Ahead with a Friendship with Your Ex
Pulling your ex boyfriend back into your life requires baby steps. It's rare for a man to jump back into a woman's arms while the break up is still fresh in both their minds and hearts. That's why a friendship may be the way to go. It will certainly feel as though it's a step in the wrong direction but it's actually a very wise way to build a strong, respectful and lasting connection between you and your ex.
Be mindful of the fact that this is a friendship that is going to require some sensitive nurturing. You can't expect your ex to want to be your best friend overnight. It's not possible for that to occur. But you can have lunch occasionally or even meet for a coffee every couple of weeks just to catch up. Keep all conversation subjects general and don't pry into what's going on in his personal life at the moment. It's important that you're respectful of his privacy. By the same token don't offer up anything too specific about your own life. A bit of mystery, particularly with an ex boyfriend, can be a very good thing.
Embrace Every Part of Your Life
Most women would love to know that their ex boyfriend spends the majority of his time pining away for them. It's a romantic notion that fairytales are often made of. However, it doesn't work that way with both genders. Men are rarely enamoured with women who devote themselves entirely to the man. That's even more relevant in the case of an ex boyfriend. Although you may find it increasingly difficult to find joy and fulfillment in all the other areas of your life, you must try.
If your ex boyfriend sees that you're still living your life as vicariously as you did when you were with him, he'll find that incredibly attractive. He'll be more inclined to want to be a part of your life if he doesn't feel the weight of being your sole focus. That's why it's imperative that you still pursue the career you've long wanted and you still make time for friends and family. If you've been considering taking on a new hobby, now is the ideal time to do that. By filling your schedule with all the important things in your life, you'll be silently showing your ex boyfriend that you can live a very fulfilling life without him. That's often enough of a challenge to make any man chase after a woman. After all, he'll want to prove to you and himself that you can't really live without him.