You're thinking “I want to get my ex back, but it seems everything I try only pushes him/her further away.” It's true that when we have the initiative to get our exes back, we're usually only pushing him/her further away. If you've thought, “I want to get my ex back, but how?” there are certain measures you can take that will help your chances of getting your ex back.
Because emotions can cascade upon you at times after a breakup you might have weak moments when you'll want to fall back on your ex. Often times these weak moments lead to “breakup blunders.” If you're thinking that all you've tried has only made your ex madder, you've likely made these mistakes. Now is the time to recognize what your mistakes are/were, how you can prevent them in the future and your plan of “Get My Ex Back” will be on its way.
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Building a New Foundation:
A foundation is a basis for something. It's the bottom most part of a building. Without a foundation there can be no building; just as without a foundation there can be no relationship. When you and your ex started dating, you built a foundation for your relationship to stand on. A breakup cracked that foundation. You need to rebuild your foundation, not just cover up the crack, which might mean tearing up that old foundation.
Experts recommend taking at least a month away from your ex. When you're away from each other you're going to be able to grow stronger than if you are constantly near each other. Realize a breakup hurts your ex, too. Your ex grew attached to you, too. Unfortunately something made your ex unhappy so he/she felt the need to break off your relationship. There is a chance they just needs some time to sort out his/her own feelings. You need to give him/her this time in which case both of you will be able to build a new foundation.
If you don't feel strong enough to not stay away from your ex for at least a month, take preventative measures like spending time with friends or discussing with friends and family your fear of constantly trying to contact and texting your ex. They will help you.
Breaking Up Communication:
In this modern world we have numerous ways of keeping in touch with ones we love: cell phones, house phones, emails, texts, IMs, etc. All of these are within our reach and very convenient. They can also become an inconvenience when all you think is, “I need to get my ex back.” It's important that you sever almost all contact with your ex. Many people will say cut contact off completely but others will say to keep minimum contact to let your ex know you're still interested. Ultimately, the choice is yours and if you can control yourself and if you want to keep in touch. A few texts or emails could be good for your relationship (don't mention the breakup and don't bring up the chances of getting back together for at least a couple weeks). Keep in mind that a few means one every three or four days to initiate a conversation. Let your ex decide if he/she wants to talk longer.
Many of us, however, aren't always capable of controlling our need to text or call when we're so overcome with emotions. Therefore we fall under the category of needing to take preventative measures in order to keep our chances of getting our exes back. One thing to do is hand over your phone to someone–especially if you're planning a night of social drinking. If you remove the temptation, you're less likely to fall to this mistake. If you're worried about sending emails when you're a little toasty, gmail actually has an application you can enable called “Mail Goggles” in order to prevent you from sending incriminating or embarrassing emails when you're drunk. It asks you simple math questions before you can send an email. This is an awesome way to prevent you from sending an email when you've had something to drink. If you need to, you can enable the application to be on all the time. That extra step to send your email just might be what you need to stop you from sending something you'd later regret.
Being in the position of wanting to “get my ex back” can be difficult because you're going to see everything in a distorted light. Hardly anything will make sense and will most likely sound stupid. However, if you want your ex back, trust people that have been through what you're going through now.