It's happened. You believed it wouldn't based solely on what you feel for your ex boyfriend but it's become blatantly obvious to you that he feels differently. The man has hooked up with another woman. You couldn't process the news when you first heard it and you're still holding onto the hope that whoever told you was mistaken. The truth is that it happens. Once a couple breaks up, either one of both former partners may seek out another person quickly. The difficult part of it is that you have to shoulder the image of your ex boyfriend, the man you still desperately love, being with another woman. Instead of allowing your anger and resentment to get a foothold, you need to take control of your emotions and show your ex that regardless of what he's done, you're still emotionally mature enough to handle it.
Accept That He's Found Someone Else
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Your best friends are going to try their level best to convince you that your ex is involved with someone else because he can't process the break up. They may tell you that your ex boyfriend is likely suffering an emotional breakdown and in an effort to find some comfort, he's ended up in the arms of another woman. None of this is based in reality.
The cold, hard and very painful truth is that your ex boyfriend is attracted to someone else and has acted on those feelings. Men tend to move through their feelings at a different pace than women do post break up and one of the things men do sooner is date. Even if you feel as though you'll never be ready to date another guy, that certainly doesn't mean your ex feels the same way. Men are much better at compartmentalizing their feelings.
You'll be doing yourself a big favor if you simply accept that he's moved on from his relationship with you and has found someone new that he enjoys being with. Fighting against this by trying to come up with endless excuses for his behavior is fruitless. The man has moved on. It's truly that plain and simple.
Act as Though It's No Big Deal
Your reaction to the news that your ex boyfriend is with someone else is going to factor greatly into whether or not there's ever going to be another chance for the two of you. Since you two have broken up you have absolutely no claim to him. Therefore the fact that he's moved on shouldn't garner any type of strong reaction from you.
Inevitably you're going to be thrust into a situation in which you have to face your ex boyfriend and the reality of his current dating situation. When that does happen, keeping your composure is paramount. You have to act as though it means very little to you. Beyond the fact that it will help you immensely to react in this way because it makes you feel in control, it will also have some added benefits.
If your ex boyfriend sees and senses that you don't really care what he's up to, that will sting him emotionally. Most men, post break up, carry the belief that their ex girlfriend is still pining for them. They want to believe that their ex is secretly hoping they'll get back together. This is a huge boost to any man's ego and once he realizes it's simply not the case, he'll feel very let down. So let down in fact that he'll be consumed with the thought that his ex girlfriend got over him so swiftly.
Welcome the New Girlfriend With Open Arms
Men expect women to hate one another. They imagine that every woman has blatant distaste for every other female roaming the planet. Men love being at the core of a jealous feud so you don't want to give your ex boyfriend the satisfaction of that occurring.
Eventually you are likely going to have to face the new girlfriend. When that happens do it with a smile on your face and welcoming, open arms. You certainly don't have to invite her to be your new best friend, but you must appear as though you have no ill will directed towards her. If you can do this without batting an eyelash your ex boyfriend is going to soon realize that it matters little to you who he's spending his time with.
The main focus you need to always have within your sight when your ex boyfriend is already involved with another woman is to remain calm and emotionally mature. If you break down emotionally in front of him or show him in any way that you're jealous or upset by his new relationship, he'll see you as petty and pathetic.
The truth is that most relationships that begin quickly after a break up, don't last. They are indeed a temporary distraction from the reality of the loss of the former partner. Remember that the next time you start thinking about how your ex could have moved on so quickly. What really matters isn't who he's hanging out with today, it's more about where his heart truly feels it belongs. Give him some time, and your ex boyfriend may realize that his new fling isn't what he wants after all.