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It usually seems that a breakup happens because of a few spats or one big fight, but the truth is that nearly every split has been brewing for quite a while before it happens. That is what makes it so hard to understand and accept. There is no one incident to put your finger on and say that's what happened. If that was the case, you would know how to fix it and get your ex back.

It is so easy to wrap your life around the man you love and think he will be with you forever. You build big dreams for a future together and then those dreams get torn apart. There is such a sense of loss that your life seems empty. You miss his voice and his tender touch and that makes you so desperate to get back what you have lost that you make mistakes.

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Why do men change so fast? One minute your boyfriend can't see enough of you and the next minute he won't even answer your text or take your phone calls. Or that is the way it seems to you after a breakup. However, the whole problem might be that you are treating him like a mature adult when actually you are dealing with someone who looks grown up, but inside he is still a small boy.

Did you ever observe a small boy at Christmas? He gets a new shiny toy that he has wanted and he can't get enough of it. He takes the toy with him wherever he goes for a while and then after a while he becomes bored with the toy and puts it on a shelf. This doesn't mean he is done with the toy for good, he is just taking a break from it. This is what happens often in a relationship, the boyfriend gets bored and wants to take a break.

Now, let's go back to the toy. If you get the toy off the shelf and shove it in the small boys face and insist that he keep playing with it, what happens? He will find a way to break it or lose it for good. But if he was allowed to let the toy lay on the shelf for a few weeks, he would want it again. However if the toy is not there when he wants it again, he will become desperate to find it.

If you look at your ex boyfriend as the small boy and yourself as the toy it should show you how to get your ex back. As long as you stay in his face and insist that he communicates with you, he will stay away from you. But, if you accept the breakup and ignore your ex, one day soon he will look around for you and when you are not there, he will be desperate to get you back.

This might sound over simplified, but it's not. This is the way a man's mind works. It is male psychology in action because a small boy or a man will always want what they can't have. Show your ex boyfriend that he can't have you and he will be desperate to get you back. Isn't that the way you got him in the first place? Then after you get your ex back, never let him be too sure of you again and you will keep him for good.

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