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It is called a breakup because it is a pulling apart. When your ex boyfriend told you he needed space or a break it meant he wanted to be apart from you, at least for a while. If you want to have any chance of getting your ex back, you will have to respect his needs. Both of you are going through a very emotional time and the less contact you have with each other the better your chance for getting back together will be.

There was some kind of a mistake or misunderstanding or there would never have been a breakup. Any further contact at this time would only make the mistake worse or the misunderstanding to grow. Any attempt at having a sensible talk is just wishful thinking. The old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder is true. Since men fall in love from a distance, you should give your ex as much distance as possible.


Love is an emotion that is driven by psychological needs. These needs are called hot buttons and can be easily triggered. When your ex boyfriend broke up with you, he triggered several of your emotional hot buttons at the same time. This is why you are so desperate to get him back. The effect of these emotional hot buttons being triggered is keeping you from thinking clearly.

The emotional hot buttons that were triggered by the breakup, were the feeling of loneliness, loss and perhaps humiliation. Your ex boyfriend has these same emotions, but right now they are dormant. To get your ex back, you need to bring them to the surface and make him have the same feelings you are having. Once his emotional hot buttons are triggered, his attitude will change fast.

Your emotional hot buttons were triggered by your ex boyfriend dumping you and to make him feel the same way, you have to dump your ex. That might seem like a silly statement, but it is the best way of making him feel his need for you. How do you dump him? The same way he dumped you – you walk away from him. Stop having any contact and act as if he no longer exists.

Male psychology will tell you that men have very tender egos and they cannot stand to lose what they feel is theirs. Since he still considers you his girlfriend, the thought of you being with another man will trigger his hot buttons in a hurry. You shouldn't go out and try to date his best friend, but going out with your girlfriends and doing some flirting will get his attention immediately.

It is all psychological. As long as you are chasing him, your ex boyfriend is in a comfort zone. He doesn't have to worry about losing you and his ego is being inflated by your attention. When you walk away, his comfort zone is shattered and his ego will take a hit. He will become as confused as you were at the time of the breakup and his psychological reaction will be to get you back.

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