How many hours a day do you spend thinking about your ex boyfriend? You're probably too embarrassed to admit that it's a lot. In reality, you likely don't get through much more than five minutes before you jump to thoughts of when you two were together and what you can do right now to get him to see that you're the only woman for him. You're certainly not alone in this. Most women who recently suffered through a break up do exactly the same thing you do. They pine for their ex boyfriend and they allow those thoughts to consume their lives. Wondering if he'll come back is natural but instead of guessing what he's going to do in the future, you can influence his decision about whether you two will eventually get back together. You need to refocus your attention on yourself and by doing so you'll create a scenario in which your ex boyfriend starts to question his decision to break up with you.
Give Yourself Some Emotional Breathing Room
You have to let go of the break up and stop questioning what you could have done differently. The break up is now part of your past and until you embrace it as such, you're going to continue to wish things had worked out differently. They didn't. The break up happened and all you can do now is accept it as fact and move forward more aware of what does and doesn't work in terms of a relationship with your ex boyfriend.
Make a vow to yourself that you're going to start pushing past the thoughts of your ex boyfriend. You can do this very simply by thinking about something else as soon as thoughts of him pop into your head. The best advice in regards to this is to focus on yourself and something kind you are going to do just for you today. Now is the time to take care of yourself and in order to do that effectively you have to concentrate on your own emotional health.
You've been through a traumatic experience. The ending of a beloved relationship is always very hard to endure. That's why you should be spoiling yourself by spending as much time as possible with people who really love you. Give yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship and go out and have fun. Create an emotionally safe and nurturing environment for yourself by surrounding yourself with the people who care most for you.
Act Reserved and Mature When You Do Speak to Your Ex
One of the most common mistakes women make post breakup is that they wear their hearts on their sleeves. They make it boldly apparent to their ex boyfriend that they can't live without him. If you do this you are, in essence, hurting your own chances of getting the man to fall back in love with you. Rarely does a man find it attractive when a woman tells him she'll never get over him. He's going to view behavior like that as pathetic and desperate.
When you do talk to your ex boyfriend make certain that your tone is casual and kind. You don't want him to pick up any leftover resentment you may be feeling about the break up. It's also wise if you don't push him on the issue of his dating status. Naturally, you're terribly curious about whether or not he's seeing anyone new but you can't allow him to see that.
It's very important that you present yourself as someone who has moved on from the break up and is looking forward to the next steps in her life. You may even want to mention the fact that you're considering going on vacation with friends or perhaps looking at a job in a new city. Anything that makes your ex boyfriend see you as an independent, productive and emotionally balanced woman is key.
Don't Be Readily Available To Him
Some ex boyfriends look towards their ex girlfriends as a close friend. Although this can be a very effective stepping stone in your quest to get him back, you don't want him to only see you as a dependable and reliable friend.
If your ex calls you up frequently seeking advice, don't always be there for him. You have to show him that you have your own life to live and being available at his beck and call isn't a role you want to be playing long term.
Make it clear to him that your schedule is very full. Don't pretend to be dating someone else to make your ex boyfriend jealous. This won't end well. Instead keep yourself busy by going out with friends, perhaps taking a class and maybe even painting your apartment. You just want to be able to tell your ex that you have other plans and he'll automatically assume that those plans are more important than him. Once a man feels as though he's not at the top of the totem pole in a woman's life he cares for, he'll work to change that as soon as he can. That's exactly what you want to happen so keep focused and don't give in to your desires to chase after him anymore.