You've heard the advice more than once. Since your breakup people have been telling you that the thing to do, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, is to ignore her, right? In your emotional state this hardly makes logical sense. How is it possible that ignoring someone you love will actually draw them back to you? It does defy all rationale, but there are very specific reasons why this approach is not only a good way to regain her attention, but it's also a healthy approach for you to take in terms of your emotions. Before you pick up your phone to text or call your ex girlfriend again, just consider the many reasons why ignoring her may be the most beneficial route for you to take.
You Need an Emotional Break
There are few things in life that are more traumatic than the end of a relationship you cherished. If the breakup wasn't your idea you not only have to deal with the loss of your girlfriend but you have to balance the rejection as well. This weighs heavily on a man and eventually you may get so stuck in the notion that she was wrong to reject you that you can't focus on anything else. It's not healthy to pine continuously for someone who pushed you away. You have to find your own emotional balance again and the best way for you to do that is to break free from the break up. If you continue to try and reach out to your ex girlfriend on a daily or weekly basis you are keeping that wound open. By stepping back and giving yourself a momentary break from the emotional roller coaster you've been on, you'll find that you can make more grounded decisions and you won't feel lost in the grief any longer.
You Need a Chance to Think Clearly
Losing a fundamental connection can feel very much like the end of the world. It's impossibly hard to imagine another relationship filling you in the same way that this one did. The fact is that unless you can disconnect emotionally from your ex girlfriend for a time, you aren't going to be able to gauge with any clarity whether getting back with her really is the best thing for you.
If you two were together for any amount of time, she likely not only filled the role of your girlfriend, but she became one of your closest friends as well. That line can become very blurred in the wake of a split. You may believe you still love her because you miss her companionship. Until you have a chance to experience life without her you can truly decide whether a reunion is in your best interest or not.
Your emotions will settle down within a matter of days if you make the determined decision not to contact her for a set period of time. You should be viewing this as a step towards emotional clarity for you. You do not want to make the mistake of chasing after your ex only to discover that when you do get back together she's just not the right woman for you.
You'll Have the Opportunity to Meet New People
You may feel it's beneficial to you to spend all of your time locked in your apartment but that's not healthy in an emotional sense for you. It's also not productive in terms of moving forward with your life. Even if you're holding out hope that your ex girlfriend will come running back to you, it's essential that you pick up your pride and get back out into the world again.
You may not feel comfortable with the idea of dating and that's fine. That's not a step you should be taking until you feel it's right for you. However, there's nothing negative about you getting out and having fun. A good approach to take is to enlist a group of friends to go out to a club or dinner. You need to be around people and you need to start having positive experiences again. A great benefit to this is that you'll discover that you'll spend less and less time thinking about your ex girlfriend.
You'll Be Objective When Your Ex Contacts You Again
Right now if your ex girlfriend called and said she'd want you back, you'd trip over your own feet running to see her, wouldn't you? It would be your ultimate dream. You'd race back without considering the factors that drove you two apart. You'd blindly jump back into a relationship without fully thinking about what went wrong and what will be different this time around.
That's not the head space that you need to be in. You have to get yourself to a place where you can logically look at the positives and the negatives of getting back together with her. You don't want to find yourself back in the same situation again in a few weeks where you're facing another break up and wishing you could just get her back.
By stopping all contact with her you'll be able to objectively deal with her when she does come back around. Silence is a powerful motivating factor when it comes to relationships. If your ex girlfriend understands that you're not chasing after her anymore, that will force her to face her feelings for you. Typically when that occurs a woman will evaluate her feelings and will often decide that getting back together with her ex is exactly what she wants.
You want to be the one who takes a moment when she does come back to decide if it's truly the best thing considering where your life will be at that point. Being desperate to get her back is not attractive. You have to be in control, calm and ready emotionally to make a decision about your own future. Taking a step back from her now will help you do that.