Relationships can be joyful, sometimes can be painful. Humans are hardwired to relationships but ironically most often people don't know how to keep the relationship, probably because it is very easy to get into it. Falling in love and engage in relationship is simple, but it is extremely hurting when you want to come out of it or you are forced to come out of it. Sadly, there is no magic formula to come out of it quickly and mend your heart.
Stop loving and make a wall around you is not an option. This is not the natural way because we are not born to hold back our emotions. In relationship counseling it's been said that deep love often leads to deep pain but that's the way love even more fruitful. But how to mend your broken relationships and assuage the pain is the most important question.
- Don't escape
It is very difficult when you have broken a relationship and stand still and feel the crash. But for some initial period of trauma you have to exactly do it. There is no shortcut to get away from it and you have to share things that cause you pain in the past. Many people do not want to grieve for the past, but sometimes it is better to grieve well in order to move on. Do not go around it but through it. By going through an excruciating pain you'll finally become a strong person.
- Detach and be independent
Many people do the mistakes of getting into another relationship to get out of the past trauma. It is temporarily good way to cope up with suffering but it doesn't make you strong, and perhaps if you might get another setback, the things will be same again for you. Don't rush to relationship or trying desperate measures to win your lover back. It is better to detach yourself, feel strong, and ask yourself what you want from your life. It is your job to fill your emptiness, not to depend on others to do it.
- List your strengths
After breaking up from a relationship many people go into an abyss of negative thoughts. They just forget they are strong enough to survive so many years of struggle, job, family, relationships and many other ordeals. They only dwell on negative what they don't and what they can't. This thought process is the most dangerous of all, so think about it; you are alive, better than many people in this world. You overcame many ordeals in the past and you will do in future. Just point your strengths and not your weaknesses.
- Create a new world
You can go to a holistic healing center and try some ancient techniques of yoga, meditation, or Tai Chi to relieve yourself. You can build your own world by creating a new dimension around you. Don't just get stuck into the same routine life, else you will get into that trauma again. Exercise, walking, swimming, running etc. will greatly reduce stress and also boost your self-confidence. You can also harbor some interest in your life; may be things that you always wanted to. Perhaps you are well in cooking, gardening, music, or you are bibliophile.
- Find hope
Don't let bad thoughts accumulated in your heart. Just forgive everybody and first of all forgive yourself. Remember loneliness is a part and parcel of everybody's life and you are not just a victim of it. See the smiling faces, sport a smile always, do what you are best at and be well.