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Marriage Counseling Psychologist

You thought you had found the man of your dreams and then something happened. He started acting distant and soon he was out of your life. You had even been looking at wedding gowns and thinking about who would be your bridesmaids. Now you are thinking about a life alone because no one can ever take his place. Then your ex boyfriend sends a text and says he wants to talk to you and your hopes are renewed.

I don't want to rain on your parade, but you shouldn't start planning a romantic reunion yet. There are many reasons he could be contacting you. If he didn't say that he misses you or wishes things were different, he might just be wanting to tell you he is moving on. You should wait a day or two and then answer his text by just saying, “Where do you want to meet?”


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This does not give him any clue about your feelings for him and it might make him feel you are meeting him out of courtesy. The whole idea is not to appear to anxious and make him name the time and place of the meeting. Another way you can put him on the defensive is to be just a few minutes late. Don't make him wait so long that he gets disgusted and leaves, but a few minutes won't hurt.

Greet him cheerfully, but let him control the conversation. Just play the part of a good listener. He might say that he wants to be friends and that is not all bad. By being friends, you will continue to have contact with him. Don't press for more than friendship at this time or you might never hear from him again. No matter what he says, don't make a decision at this time.

Make sure you do not appear desperate because desperation will kill his desire. You don't want to appear cool, but if he gets the idea that you are doing fine without him, it will increase his desire for you. Saying you will have to think about being friends, getting back together or whatever he suggests will make you look unattainable to him again and that is the way you want him to feel.

The more cheerful and more mysterious you are, the more desirable you will become to your ex boyfriend. Don't stay too long. Give the impression that you have somewhere else to go and he will wonder if you are dating. If you leave him with the proper frame of mind, you can expect him to stay in contact with you and soon you could be looking at wedding gowns again.

Keep in mind that getting a text from your ex boyfriend can be an opportunity to get your ex back if you handle it right. On the other hand it could end your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back for good. It all will depend on how you handle it.

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