There comes a time when you're going to end up wondering whether the never ending pursuit of your ex girlfriend is all in vain. It's normal for a man in your position to start feeling as though you're chasing an impossible dream. After all, it's been months or perhaps years now since you two ended your relationship and all your close friends are constantly telling you that it's time to put her behind you and move on. You hear the words, you know they make sense but you just can't seem to do it. Is there a specific time when you need to give up on your ex girlfriend or will there always be a chance that you can get her back? Instead of looking at it from the perspective of an ex boyfriend who is still wildly in love with the woman of his dreams, you must take a step back and look at it from her point of view.
Ask Yourself Why You're Still Holding On
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Before you continue chasing after your ex girlfriend you need to ask yourself a very direct and honest question. You must look at the real reasons why you're still holding onto the broken connection that you two shared. Obviously, this isn't going to be easy for you. There are many different emotions that a man feels when he goes through a break up and you have to look at each of those and weigh whether or not you're holding onto the hope of getting her back because you love her or if it's more about just missing having a girlfriend.
If you've been unable to even consider the idea of dating anyone else, you're probably still very much in love with your ex. Perhaps you feel as though no one else can replace her or you just won't be happy with another woman. If that's the case, your intentions are well placed. You want her back because you view her as someone uniquely special and you know that you won't ever feel the same way about another woman.
However, if you have dated since the break up and you've even forgotten about your ex girlfriend from time-to-time, you may want her back strictly because you miss her company. It may be less about her as a person and more about the void that her absence has created within your life. You have to be honest when you're evaluating this and if you do come to the conclusion that you're not as in love with your ex as you are in love with the idea of not being alone, that suggests that you need to let go of her and find someone new.
Consider Where Her Life is at the Moment
Has your ex girlfriend already moved on and is building a new life with someone else? This is always a painful part of the post break up experience. If you still love her desperately and she's already found happiness you must consider whether continually holding on to her is doing either of you any good.
It's important that you carefully consider what your ex girlfriend wants before you proclaim to her that you're never going to give her up. If she's happy and is content in a relationship with a new man that she adores, it might be time to think about moving on yourself.
It's very easy to convince yourself that her new relationship is simply a rebound. It may very well be and if she's given you clues that she still loves you, waiting for her may be the best decision you'll ever make. But if she's been direct about her desire to move on in her life and you've been ignoring that because you want to believe she still loves you, stop and think clearly about her words.
If your ex girlfriend is still in love with you she'll drop subtle hints about her feelings. She'll want to keep in touch with you or she'll be very interested in whether or not you're dating anyone else. If your ex girlfriend never initiates contact or if she rarely asks about anything that is going on in your life, it's time to move on.
Take your cues from her behavior. You obviously don't want to give up on any promise that may still be there if you sincerely love her but by the same token you don't want to waste years hoping to rekindle a romance with a woman who is in love with someone else.