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Break-ups can be hard. Some are certainly permanent, but some occur because of an easily fixed mistake. The five steps to how to get your ex back below are simple steps that can be taken to mend a broken relationship.

Step One: Survey the Wreckage


When trying to figure out how to get your ex back, you need to start by figuring out exactly what went wrong. There are many things that can end a relationship, some that can be fixed and some that cannot. Try to figure out what caused the break-up, and be warned that it may not be exactly what he or she cited when the relationship ended. Try to look at your relationship from an outsider's perspective and you might be able to see what went wrong.

Step Two: Back Off

The hardest thing to do trying to get back together with someone is to give them space. Unfortunately, it is also the most necessary. The more needy or clingy that you seem, the less attractive you will look to your ex. Give him or her space, and take the time to let the feelings that led to the breakup to cool down. If you keep your distance, he or she will have the chance to remember the better aspects of being together.

Step Three: Get to Work

One of the least appealing aspects of how to get your ex back is the amount of work that you will have to put into yourself. Try to remember what attracted him or her to you in the first place, and then consider how you act now. You may have to take the time to change in the necessary ways to attract him or her once again, and you will certainly need to fix what has gone wrong in the meantime.

Step Four: Making Contact

It can be tempting to bombard your ex with dozens of texts or phone calls, but that is not how to get your ex back. Contact needs to be on his or her time-table, not your own. Make a single phone call, leave one text, or send a message through a social media site. If he or she does not respond, enough time has not yet passed for the relationship to be given another shot. If you succeed, though, you know that he or she may have a real desire to get back together.

Step Five: Starting Over

The final step of how to get your ex back is starting over. It can be easy to fall into old patterns if you are together, but remember that those old patterns are what led to the break-up. Try to treat him or her with the respect you would treat a new partner, and you may be surprised by the relationship that emerges.

If you want to get back with your ex, make sure to learn about what went wrong, give him or her space, work on yourself, make contact on their schedule and avoid falling back into old routines. If you can do so, you might stand a chance at working things out. At the very least, you stand a chance of finding closure in the relationship.

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