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Premarital Therapy

If you are like most women after a breakup, you are blaming yourself. You go back over everything you said or did for the last six months. However unless you cheated on your ex boyfriend or he caught you telling several lies, the breakup might not be your fault at all. In fact the only mistake you might have made is not understanding how men think.

One of the sad parts of life is that we seldom appreciate what we have until it is gone. It is human nature to take things for granted. We expect the alarm clock to wake us at a certain time. We expect the coffee maker to work and the car to start. It is only when one of them fails that we realize how important they are to our comfort and existence.

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That is what happens in a relationship, both of the partners start taking the other for granted. However it works differently with men and women. As a woman you feel safe and secure by the routine of a relationship, but a man can easily become bored. You see the same people and do the same things. You tell him you love him several times a week and try to do everything possible to please him.

But security works differently with men. Once he knows he has captured your heart, he becomes restless. This is because of a man's tendency to be a hunter and be challenged. He has conquered you and now feels he should be capturing other hearts. At first he might not even be aware that he is noticing other girls and wondering if he could conquer them.

The thought begins slow, but soon picks up an urgency. Before he knows it he is hitting on girls and slipping out on a date now and then. Then he decides that he doesn't have to worry about you because you will always take him back, so he breaks up with you in order to roam more freely. I'm not making excuses for your ex boyfriend, but you are partly to blame for his behavior.

You fell too deeply in love with him and became too available to your ex boyfriend. You became like his coffee maker or his car. He expected you to be there when he needed you. Like the alarm clock, you need to give him a wake up call and make him appreciate you. To do that you have to make him see what his life is like without you. Male psychology tells you that a man will always go after what he thinks he can't have.

Another part of knowing how your ex boyfriend thinks and using male psychology to get your ex back, is to ignore him. The man you love will sense trouble brewing when you stop trying to get him back, but he won't be able to handle it when he realizes you are ignoring him. That is another part of male psychology. A man hates to be ignored by his ex girlfriend because it becomes a blow to his ego and pride.

Your ex boyfriend will begin to chase you again, but if you have learned a lesson from the breakup, it should be not to be too available again. Always keep your ex guessing and stay just a little out of his reach and he will never be bored again.

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