Is there anything quite as torturous as going through a relationship meltdown with the only man you've ever truly loved? Many women have been in that exact position. They wake up each day to the realization that their boyfriend is now their ex. Nothing makes sense anymore and it's incredibly difficult to function as a normal person. You live, breathe and feel his vacancy in your life every single moment of the day. Sleep is near impossible and having fun is completely and utterly out of the question. If this sounds like your life at the moment, take heart. You don't have to continue to suffer over the loss of your beloved boyfriend. You can pick your emotions up, brush your heart off and get to work getting the man to love you all over again. There are several tricks to get him back that work. The key is that you have to be focused, strong and patient.
Put the Past Where it Belongs
One thing that many women do post break up is they mourn for far too long. The break up, and the moment when everything fell apart, consumes them. They replay the last few days or weeks of the relationship over and over again in their minds. Although this is natural and normal it's also not emotionally healthy if it goes on for too long.
The break up happened. That is the reality of your situation. You can't change that fact at this point. No amount of brooding over what happened will rewrite history for you. Life doesn't work that way. That's why it's essential that you let the break up go and instead shift your focus to a new beginning with your boyfriend.
Regardless of whether either of you said hurtful things or did things that broke the other's heart, you must put all of that in the past. You can't expect to move forward if you continue carrying so much baggage. Let go of what happened and look towards a new start with your ex boyfriend. If you can do that, you'll start to feel more emotionally strong and balanced.
Act as Though You're Completely Over Him
One of the basic differences of men and women is how they deal with emotional situations. Although there are some men who are just as sensitive as women, most aren't. Men are much more logical and clear headed. They see things in a very straight line, whereas women tend to get off track. Once your boyfriend has processed the break up, he'll be looking towards the rest of his life. However, in the back of his mind he knows that since you're a woman you're probably not going to let things go for a very long time.
If you look at a typical break up scenario you'll notice that the woman is almost always the one still hanging on to the hope of getting back together weeks or months after the separation. Men are well aware of this and some men take pleasure in the knowledge that their ex still pines for them. They enjoy those random voicemails where you say you miss him or the text telling him that he's the only guy for you.
That's why you can change the entire dynamic of the broken relationship if you act as though you've already gotten over him. This may seem almost impossible for you to do given the way you feel right now but once you consider the benefits of doing so, you'll work hard to make it happen.
Move Your Life Forward
Actions always speak louder than words. That's a well known fact in every situation in life, particularly when a break up has destroyed a relationship. Even if you tell everyone, including your ex that you are focusing on your own life and your own future, your actions will always tell the real story.
You must make a real effort to stop dwelling on the break up and instead do positive things within your own life. This may be something as simple as tidying up your apartment, painting the walls, taking a class or spending more time with friends. The point is to do things that will benefit you, and you alone.
Many women find it beneficial to start a new hobby or set out looking for a new, more challenging job opportunity. Volunteering is another way to shift your focus towards something that is not only going to help you but others as well.
When you show your ex boyfriend that you're done worrying about what went wrong between you two and instead you're moving your life in a positive direction, he'll sit up and take notice. Even if he was the one who ended the relationship, he won't feel great knowing that you're over him already. That bit of information may be enough to push him to prove to you that you really do need him. If that happens expect an onslaught of sappy texts and voicemails telling you that he's the one who misses you.