It's happened yet again. Your ex girlfriend has sent you a text message and you feel your heart race and your palms sweat. You haven't stopped thinking about her since the break up and each and every time she sends you a random text message you get your hopes up again that she's going to want to get back together. Who could blame you for feeling that way? After all, she's the love of your life and since the break up you haven't been the same. The problem is that virtually every time you text her back she ignores you for days or she doesn't respond the way you want. Are you doing something wrong? Are you handling her texts the right way or is there something else you could be doing to get her to want to be with you again? As tricky as this situation is, you can use it to your advantage. The key to capitalizing on those text messages your ex is sending is to understand her motivation and then use that insight to take control of the broken relationship so you can get her interested in you again.
Take Her Text Messages at Face Value
It's very easy to get confused over what it actually means when your ex girlfriend texts you once in a while. You may jump to the conclusion that she misses you or perhaps you take it a step further and you make the assumption that she's still in love and can't stay away from you. You really must look at the content of the text messages before you try and read your ex girlfriend's mind.
Many women will feel an emptiness after a break up and as such, they send text messages to their ex when they feel awash with those feelings of loneliness. Typically those messages will be things like, “I miss you,” or “how are things.” There is absolutely no hidden meaning in any generic text message like that. She's simply sharing how she feels at any given moment. Once that wave passes, she may text someone else or decide it's better not to talk to you after all. You can usually tell if that's what she's feeling if she doesn't answer when you do text her back or she takes days and days to respond.
The Best Way for You to Handle Your Ex Girlfriend's Text Messages
If you are hopeful that you and your ex girlfriend will get back together at some point, you can begin that process by handling her text messages in a very specific way. Responding immediately to them is not the best idea for several reasons. First, and foremost, you look desperate if you respond to your ex the moment you hear from her. She's going to safely and accurately assume that you were waiting to hear from her. Secondly, if a man answers his ex within a few minutes, she knows that she owns his heart. Even if you've made it abundantly clear to your ex girlfriend that you want her back, the act of answering her text messages immediately makes it that much more apparent.
When she does send you a text, try and ignore it for at minimum six to eight hours. The best approach really is to ignore it for at least a day, but that can be torturous. The reason you want to have a lapse between when she messages you and you respond is that it looks as though you are very busy and are finally, after several hours, finding a spare moment to address her.
Keep Your Emotional Distance in Your Text Messages to Her
It's understandable that you'd want to tell your ex girlfriend how much you miss and love her when she does text you. It's almost a reflexive act to write back and tell her that you can't live without her. It's what you're feeling in your heart, after all. The problem with that approach is that it places you into an incredibly vulnerable position. If she's not feeling exactly the same things as you are, she's going to either ignore your outburst of emotion or tell you that she's still reeling from the break up and can't talk to you for awhile.
Play it very cool when you do text her back. A great rule to follow is to treat her as you would any friend. Don't be overly friendly and don't get sentimental about your relationship and what happened that caused it to splinter. Just keep the text messages you send her fun, light and non-committal.
Your ex girlfriend won't be able to read anything into what you write to her and that's exactly what you want at this point. You want and need to force her hand so she's the first to reveal what she's really feeling. Being a bit distant and emotionally removed in your text messages will help to accomplish that.