You've been through the paces after your break up so you already know the virtues in doing no contact with your ex. You know the drill by now. You have to break off all forms of communication for a few weeks. This includes no texting, no emailing and no phone calling. You've been trying it and likely it's not going the way you wanted, is it? It's hard not to talk to the person you adore and especially when you're going through such an emotional period in your life. Just hearing your ex's voice gives you comfort, so how are you supposed to get through the next several weeks without them? It's a tough question with no real, tangible answer. That's the very reason why you may find that you'll fare much better with limited contact than no contact at all.
Limited contact can be a lifesaver to a person who is finding it hard to function after the end of their relationship. Even though no contact claims to promise the prize of reigniting your ex's attention, limited contact can do the same, in a different way. There are some rules you really do need to follow if you want to talk with your ex now and again. You can't just have free reign to call them whenever you like and allow your emotions to shine through. This simply won't result in anything but you alienating the person you love and more heartache for you.
In order to effectively use limited contact you have to essentially get your act together. In other words, you have to be emotionally in control, each and every time you speak with your ex. You must also weigh the advantages of talking to them today versus talking with them tomorrow or next week. Limited contact means you give your ex breathing room and you minimize the number of times you try and contact them. A good rule of thumb is to only contact them once every week or if you're strong enough, once every two weeks.
The conversations you have with your ex should be limited to general things. No talking about the failed relationship at all. This is a huge deal and if you waver from this, you'll be only hurting yourself and your end goal. You can bring up anything neutral including the weather, mutual friends, movies, current events, etc. It's very important that you keep the discussions on a friendly basis and that you're the one who ends the conversation first.
You also need to respond in kind when your ex is the one who initiates contact. For instance, if your ex sends you a text message asking how your day is going, say it's going well and ask the same of them. It's wise not to respond to any contact right away though. You don't want to appear as though you're waiting with baited breath for any message from your ex at all. Give it at least fifteen minutes before you text, email or call the back.
By using limited contact you'll be showing your ex that you have self control and that you're focused on your own life and not the break up. That's why it's essential that you keep contact limited to once a week , if not less, and you stay focused on everything but the break up. Your ex is going to start to see you as a strong, emotionally stable person and they'll remember the happier times you two had. That's just what you want to have happen as you work your way back to being their partner again.