It's never easy trying to survive a breakup. The pain of being separated from the person you love can be very overwhelming. This pain can make you either wallow in self pity or feel so much anger towards your ex or even towards yourself. These are normal emotions that one can experience after an unsuccessful love relationship. If you confront these emotions and learn to understand your pain, you will be on your road to healing. Do not let this pain and the negative emotions that go with it dictate how your days will go. Instead, recognize that the pain is there, but given time, it will not hurt as much as it did the first day your ex said it was over.
Your goal should be to regain your composure and your self esteem after the break up. Oftentimes, a break up creates feelings of rejection, which can affect the way you look at yourself. Especially if the relationship lasted for years, it becomes difficult to accept that the one with whom you invested so much emotions in has suddenly dumped you.
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Keep telling yourself that being dumped is not the end of the world. Turn the table to your advantage by looking at this period as a time for self-reflection and for telling yourself that you are worth loving.
On your road to recovery, there may be times when you'll find yourself asking, “Should I try and get back with my ex?” You alone can answer that question. It will do you some good though to keep your distance from your ex right after the break up. Giving yourself time and space to understand the situation better will make you see things more logically.
Should you decide to give the relationship another try, it should come from a gut feeling that a reconciliation with your ex is what you deserve. Be prepared for the worst, though. You maybe wanting to get back with your ex, but your ex may not feel the same way.
When you're ready to give it your best shot, find creative ways to win your ex back. Doing unexpected things like giving your ex a call after a long period of no contact can be effective, but do it in a way that it will not sound as if you're too eager to get back together again. Drop some hints that you're in the neighborhood on a particular day and you'll be pleased to have coffee with him. If he expresses interest, then it may be a good sign that he welcomes the idea of reconciliation.
There are no fixed rules on how to get back your ex. Every relationship is unique and dynamic. What is important is to be true to yourself and to your loved one. If things are not happening as you want them to, then consider the possibility that the relationship is really doomed to end.