You thought that nothing could be worse than the guy you love ending your relationship. You were wrong. While you were busy planning your next moves, he seems to have moved on without you. He's dating another woman and it seems like the only possible option you have is to sit back and watch him be happy with someone else. He's taking her to your favorite restaurant and calling her all the sweet names he used to call you. You've been replaced and you don't know what to do about it – as if it would make a difference at all.
While it may seem like you've lost all of your opportunity to strike, nothing could be further from the truth. Your ex-boyfriend is in the midst of a rebound relationship, but it's only temporary. You don't have to see it as a long-term impediment to your happiness. It's simply one more thing to be beat to get your ex back in a way that will encourage a positive, lasting happiness for you both. Don't talk yourself into believing that it will be easy – it won't be. You're facing a struggle but you can come out on top if you act intelligently and not impulsively.
Women are the world's leading experts at working behind the scenes and manipulation, although trying to play with someone's emotions can be dangerous. You can get back into his life, his thoughts and his heart without having to succumb to a dangerous game. Face it – ordinary measures won't help you along this road. You need to act rationally but avoid becoming over-emotional and making irreversible mistakes. You need to find a way to reestablish your former connection without tipping off his new love interest. That requires caution, patience and a lot of thinking outside of the box. You've got a lot of tricks up your sleeves – and you may need to use all of your skills to pull this off.
The first step is going to be one of your hardest. You need to walk away temporarily and give him some space whether he asked for it or not. Trying to interrupt a new relationship during its initial stages is rarely successful. He's establishing new emotional bonds with his new girlfriend and any attempt to come between them is only going to drive them closer together. That means that you need to wait out their budding relationship and stay out of the way. If you can give him some space initially he is likely to appreciate your attempts to contact him later on. This will also give you the opportunity to get yourself together. He needs to see that you're doing well and not pining after him while he's starting to move on with his life.
You're going to undermine his new relationship but you don't have to smack him upside the head with that piece of information right off the bat.
Your new mantra has to be “baby steps”. Toddlers don't learn to walk overnight and getting back together with an ex-boyfriend is a long (and often tedious) process. Though you may feel like pulling your hair out you have to just smile and take it one day at a time. Before you reach out initially you need to come up with a good reason. Maybe there's a holiday on the horizon or you need to give him back something that he left behind. Your first message should be quick, simple and friendly. Email can be your best bet – it's not as personal as a phone call or text and you don't have to worry about catching him at a bad time or while his new girlfriend is around. She's not going to be too keen on the idea of her man talking to his ex, so you need to put some of your magic to work.
The key is to send him a message that he needs to respond to. Once he does you have your way in. His response can allow you to continue the conversation indefinitely as long as you keep it light, happy and interesting. You don't want to bore him and you don't want to make him suspicious of your motives. He may take his time responding – at least at first. He is trying to figure out why you're reaching out to him again and he won't know what to make of renewed contact right off the bat. The number one mistake you need to avoid at all cost is saying anything negative especially when it comes to the subject of his new girlfriend.
Your best option is to not bring the subject up. Let him approach it when he's ready – it may take some time and you don't want to push it. Working behind the scenes can be enticing and exciting on many different levels. You're beginning a new connection incognito and it's going to take root. As your conversations continue, you may start to dive into new subjects. He'll start to text you randomly – or even call you when he gets some time to himself. Talking on the phone should be light and upbeat. Have a good time without being too obvious. You want him to enjoy the time he's spending communicating with you and bring something valuable to the table.
He used to trust your advice above anyone else's and he probably still values your opinion. Before too long he's going to start asking for your opinion. It may start with a friend that he doesn't know how to deal with or a problem going on at work. If you're patient and offer him some support, he'll start coming to you more and more. Eventually this will lead him to bring up issues that may be popping up in his new relationship. Don't act in a way that can appear judgmental. You don't want to be overly opinionated and you don't want to push your suggestions on him. Let him make his own conclusions – just offer him positive advice without resorting to negativity. If you give him advice he can put into action he's going to start to consider you differently – this sets the groundwork to get him back. He's going to be impressed by your demeanor which will encourage him to come to you again with additional issues.
Normal communication develops naturally without having to rush the issue. Don't squeal for glee when he asks you to meet him for coffee. You don't want to scare him away now. You want to meet him in a place that encourages your comfort level to increase. It's going to be a potentially tense situation anyway and being uncomfortable at the locale won't help. You want to feel the familiar rapport between the two of you again. Encourage it to grow by enjoying your time. When it's time to part ways, make sure to whet his appetite for more. Each time you get together you're allowing your connection to gradually increase and it's going to start to feel more and more like you never broke up to begin with.
Watch his physical reactions to you. Body language is an important factor that needs to be carefully observed and interpreted. You don't want to act impulsively on a whim and misread the signals that he's giving you. When the time is right, you'll know that it's a sign to make your move. Encourage any moves he makes by responding similarly. Remember – he's still involved with someone else and he may not be ready to cut his losses and jump back into a relationship with you instead. That can also work to your advantage – there is something incredibly attractive about a hidden interest that is being kept a secret temporarily.
If you find yourself wanting to reestablish an intimate physical relationship with your ex-boyfriend again you need to slow down and take a cold shower. You don't want to rush into intimate relations again or you could set your timetable back a few paces. If he thinks he can get away with being physical with you while maintaining his current relationship he may not see the incentive to leave her and restart his relationship with you. Patience is going to be a valuable ally and you want to keep your cool – even when it's difficult to maintain control. Overall, your ex should already be thinking about getting back together. That means he's weighing out his options and the odds are tipping in your favor. Just wait it out and continue the process patiently. It's going to work out the way you want and all good things are worth waiting for.