When you are still desperately in love with your ex girlfriend nothing stings quite as much as seeing her with another man. Logically, your head is telling you that it was bound to happen. She's attractive and desirable so it's not surprising that another man would ask her out. The problem is that you still adore her and want her back so you have to find a way to balance your feelings of burning jealousy and deep concern against doing whatever is required to eventually get her back. The way you handle her new relationship is going to set the tone for what happens in the future between your ex and you. Mess this up and you can almost guarantee that any chance you may have had with your ex girlfriend will evaporate into the ether for good.
Accept That She's Moved On
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There are many reasons why a woman starts dating again soon after a break up. For some women, it's an easy way to mask the pain they feel over losing a man they truly loved. For others, they see the new man as nothing more than a temporary diversion. He's essentially someone who can help her fill in the empty spots she now finds in her life. There are, of course, some women who can move very quickly from one love to a next and in these rare instances, the woman may feel that she's now found her perfect soul mate.
It's vitally important that you accept that your ex girlfriend now has a new man that she's spending time with. You should view this as something that she needs to do in order to process your break up. Viewing it from that angle will help you accept it. If you don't accept it, you'll be torturing not only yourself emotionally but your ex girlfriend as well. You'll want to know from her what he offers that you couldn't and why she got over you so quickly. Those aren't questions you should be looking for answers to at this point.
You need to come to terms with the fact that this person is important to her and is a presence in her life for the time being. Often, right after a break up, a new relationship will help a woman see why she valued her ex so much. In other words, the new guy may help you get your ex girlfriend back without realizing it. His faults can play directly into your strengths.
Be Cordial When You Meet Him
Inevitably, if you and your ex girlfriend travel in the same circles, you're going to come face-to-face with her and her new boyfriend. Internally you may feel like turning and walking away or perhaps you'd prefer to take a more direct approach and explain to him why she belongs only with you. Either way, you need to avoid doing those things. What you must do is hold your head up high, slap a smile on your face and be friendly to him. Your maturity within this situation can garner you huge points with your ex girlfriend. If she senses that you can handle meeting her new guy, she'll be impressed by you.
That's not to say that you need to become his new best friend and spend time hanging out with him. That's not advisable at all. It is a good idea to be open to the idea of talking with her, and becoming friendly with both of them.
A great way to show your ex girlfriend that you're not emotionally threatened by her new relationship is to always ask how he's doing when you talk to her. You don't want to appear nosy or too curious, but a quick question about how things are going in his life will definitely throw her off guard. It immediately speaks to the fact that you don't feel at all threatened by him and that shows a level of maturity that is bound to impress your ex girlfriend.
If you go the other route and pretend he doesn't exist at all, your ex will likely label you as childish and jealous. You don't want to have to fight against that perception. You want her to firmly believe that you have her best interests at heart.
An added bonus for you when you do appear to accept her new relationship is that it will leave a lingering question bouncing around in the mind of your ex girlfriend. She's going to wonder if your sudden acceptance of her new guy is because you're seeing someone else. Even if she feels close to the new man in her life, the mental image of you cuddling up with a beautiful woman is going to trigger some degree of jealousy within your ex. That can silently force her to address whether or not she's truly over you yet.