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Troubled Marriage

You've been working very hard to get over your break up. You've likely read all the advice that tells you that no contact is the best route to take if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. You've followed the rules to a tee. You've spent the last few weeks avoiding all contact with him and focusing solely on your own life. But now, the inevitable has finally happened. Your ex boyfriend has texted you out of the blue. Your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating and you're on the brink of texting him back telling him you still love him and need him. Before you do anything, you have to take a step back and clearly think about what it is that you want to say to him. Even though he's reached out to you, if you text him back the wrong thing, he's going to disappear into the distance just as he did before.

Follow the One Hour Rule


When an ex boyfriend texts you it's vitally important that you don't immediately jump back into a conversation with him. If you respond right away you're bound to say that you miss him or you wish you two were still a couple. If that's how you genuinely feel it's understandable why you'd share those sentiments with him. The problem is that you initially have no idea why he's contacting you and you want to be certain that you don't come across as too needy or pathetic.

That's why it's essential that you take at least an hour to respond to his text. You want to give him the impression that your life is full and that you aren't sitting by your phone waiting to hear from him. This step can make or break a reconciliation attempt so it's imperative that you don't skip past it and send him a text back too quickly.

If you have to, turn your phone off for the hour or go out for a walk, without your phone. The only difference the sixty minutes will make is that it will allow you time to gather your thoughts and also demonstrate to him that you aren't desperate for his attention again.

Be Friendly When You Text Him Back

As much as you want to tell your ex boyfriend that you miss him more than anything and you wish you two were a couple again, refrain from doing that. The best advice for you at this point is to send him back a generic text that mirrors what he said to you in his text. For example, if he asked how things are going, reply to him that you're doing well and then ask how he is. This is not the time to get into anything too heavily, especially anything to do with your breakup.

Often, a man will text his ex girlfriend out of nowhere to tell her he misses her. This is much more common than most women realize and it's a double edged sword when it does happen. Your heart is likely going to melt over the knowledge that he is thinking about you, but be forewarned that a man will often send a text like this to gauge whether or not his ex is willing to hang out with him. In other words, he may not be looking for anything more than a temporary fling because he happens to be lonely.

If he does indeed text you to say he misses you, ignore the remark and instead reply that it's been so long since you've heard from him. This shows him that you're being protective of your heart and that you're not going to be influenced by his sentiments until you know whether they are heartfelt or not.

Be the First to End the Conversation

Even though you likely hope the text conversation with your ex boyfriend lasts hours, you need to end it shortly after it begins. There are several reasons why this is beneficial to you. First, and foremost, you don't want your primary method of communication with him to be texting. That's too impersonal and it's too easy for him to say things that are not sincere. Secondly, if you end the conversation first by suggesting you have somewhere to be or you are in the middle of something, it will show him that he's no longer at the top of your priority list. Establishing this fact early in the reconnection process is important because it sets the tone for the new connection you two may establish.

Just tell him that it's been great catching up but you need to go and you hope he stays well. If he stops you and suggests that you two talk again soon, agree but not in an overly excited way. You must ensure that you keep an emotional boundary around yourself until you have a clear idea of what his true intention is.

Also, don't text your ex boyfriend again. Let him be the one to reach out to you after that initial encounter. You know that men love chasing after the woman they desire, so give him the opportunity and space to do just that. You definitely won't regret it when he eventually tells you that he wants another chance to love you again.

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